Gong Bath

Hello beautiful people,

I had the most wonderful experience on Friday night. I went to a Gong bath. This was my first time and I have to say I loved it.  

OK, I can here you asking, What is a Gong bath? It is basically a self meditation to the sound of people playing gongs. 

These are the beautiful gongs

This is how they were set up for our evening

The evening was at The Sanctuary Of Healing in Langho, Blackburn and if any of you have ever been to The Sanctuary then you will know it is a very spiritual and uplifting place to start with. Then add some beautiful gong music and you know you are in for an adventure. 

We all lay down on the floor, all snuggled up in blankets, then they turned the lights down and told us to relax and close our eyes, this was the time to either drift into a meditation or be with your own thoughts and let the music flow with you. You can not only hear the music but you can feel it vibrating all around you. You are literally bathing in music. The music was so powerful and a little eerie at time, but oh my goodness it blew me away. 

My adventure - I was floating upright in the air with a bright white light connecting me to spirit. The light flowed down through the top of my head and then roots growing up into my feet connecting me to mother earth. The energy of both past through my body and met in my heart space and then exploded out my heart to create another world in front of me, behind me I could see my sprite animals. I have a wolf. an eagle. a monkey and a momma bear (the bear is me) another image of me, but this time I have had my skin removed from my body so you can see all the muscles, then another image of me with my muscles removed and so on until I was just one tiny cell left (none of this hurt or scared me) it was just amazing to see myself split down into all the pieces that make up a human, then all of a sudden it all pulled back together and I was whole again. 

After this I had some scary pictures come into my head, that did upset me, as it was not what I had expected to see. I think it was my brains way to sort out the hurt I feel about certain situation from my past. It was all part of the evening so I just went with the flow and though I am safe and with people who will protect me if I need it, so I let it happen.

When the gong bath was over we all went into the beautiful cafe area and had 'grounding' biscuits and tea. 

It was such a magical evening for so many reasons.  I felt reborn after the bath, I also got to see some of my tribe who I care for so much and just felt safe and happy. I am truly bless to be able to do these things. Thank you to the universe for giving me this life.

May angels watch over you always.  

A moment in time that was both painful but wonderful.

Hello beautiful people.

This morning Mini me found a book that my Mom had given me a long time ago called "Forever My Daughter" it is a beautiful book, full of things that a mother would like to say to her daughter. Mom wrote a note to me in the front of the book, saying that maybe I could read the book to my daughter one day. What I am sure she would never of expected was my daughter (age 5) would read it to me perfectly. I am so proud of Mini me. She reads so well.

These are some of the parts of the book that really touched my heart.

Dearest Daughter - 

we were wonder-struck when 

we first saw your face,

first held your tiny hands.

we did not know that moment

was only the beginning of wonders.

you have become more

than even we ever dreamed 

~

I keep all the photographs

of you - as if I could hold on

to all the different yous -

The baby, the toddler,

the teenager.

But they don't really matter,

not that much,

because you are all of them -

and every time 

I see you I think

"This is the best time"

~

I am so very ordinary.

How then did I produce 

a girl like you? 

So beautiful, so clever

and so kind.

I say that last one about Mini me all the time.

To hear my little one saying to me, the things my Mom wanted to say, made me miss Mom so much. I hope she was looking down on us and smiling. 

Mini me is so much like my Mom. She has her eyes and a lot of her other mannerisms.  Like talking with her hands, Mom used to have a "bum wiggle" when she walks and Mini me does the same. Mini me also get her intelligence from Mom and also from Hubby.  

Let me tell you all the story of Mini me's eye colour. She had blue eyes up until the night we lost Mom. The next morning Mini me woke up with green/ brown eyes, the exact same colour as mom's. we could not believe it, we looked on loads of photos with Mom in to check that the colour was right and it was a perfect match. My baby was given such a beautiful gift from my Mom. I have to say it's hard telling Mini me off sometimes as my Mom is looking back at me.

Time to say good night sweet dreams to you all.

May angels watch over you always. 

Happy new year.

Hello you wonderful people. 

Happy new year to you all. I hope that 2015 will be an amazing year filled with love, laughter and lots of adventures, 

2014 was not one of the best years for us, we seemed to spend all year fighting off one illness after another, if it wasn't a tummy bug it was a cold and if it wasn't a cold it was something else, I just felt so sorry for my two kids but 2015 will be a better year. 

This is brilliant and so true, I am going to make this year amazing for me and my family.

OK I wrote all of the above on new years day, then I got a bit of a brain block and started to panic about writing the blog. I have a beautiful new laptop that I love and have been saying to the hubby "when I get a new laptop I can write loads of blogs" then as I said I panicked and thought "what will I write, will anyone give a monkeys what I write" then I gave myself a talking to. This blog is for me to document my thoughts and things that happen in my life so if other people don't like it or don't want to read it, that is OK with me.

New years resolutions....do you make them? And more to the point, do you stick to them? last year mine was all about de clutter the house. me and hubby have been together for 17 years in March and we have managed to accumulate A LOT of stuff. so it was time to get it sorted. we took so much stuff to the charity shop that I think I am on first name terms with most the staff there. but the house and attic are starting to look so much better and I don't feel the weight for the junk on me any more, we still have a way to go but I am so happy and proud for how far we have come. This years resolution is to sort out and print out all the photos we have, I love looking at and reminiscing about photos. I used to do this all the time with mom and I want my kids to be able to do that with me. so I need to print them out, we tend to use photobox for this and then I need to find some albums to put them in to make them look pretty. I am so looking forward to getting started with this. 

May angels watch over you always. X 

Merry Christmas one and all.

Well hello again you wonderful people. 

May I start by wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. I hope that it has been full of love and laughter. I know that Christmas can be a very painful time for people and until last year i hated it, with a capital H, I don't know what changed me, maybe it was having two kids, maybe i just got to the point where hating it was more a habit rather than what i really felt, so i gave myself a talking to and gave my head a good wobble and started to see the fun in Christmas and started to let myself enjoy it and now i quite like this time of year. 

I should be able to do more blog posts this year as i must have been a very very good girl this year as Santa has given me a brand new Laptop. I do feel very blessed, my old laptop went to laptop heaven a while a go and i did use a tablet for a while but i cant type on them for love nor money, so getting this new laptop is a dream come true for me, Thank you Santa Aka Rob. 

Ok Question.....Mini me and wrecking ball still believe in Santa. I love the fact that it really does put the magic in to Christmas for them but i hate to lie to them, we have always been very honest with our two. don't get me wrong i am not going to tell them that the fat man is not real as that would just be mean, but i do try not to go on about it all the time and i have tried so hard not to say "if you are a naughty girl/boy Santa wont bring you and presents" so my question to you all is this. When is the right time for a child to stop believing in Santa and how do i respond to my two when they say we lied to them and they know that you should always tell the truth, 

Love and Light. 

May Angels Watch Over You Always. 

I'm back.....again

Hello my lovelies,

Well where do I starts......I am blessed to say I am now a mom of two. Mini me is now 5 years old, yes I did say 5. Where has that time gone. She is a beautiful, intelligent, funny and bossy little Madden and my wrecking ball (that is one of his many nicknames) is 20 months old. He is such a happy little boy. His smile can and does brighten up the hardest day. I now feel totally complete. I have two beautiful children, a hubby who I love so much and a dog who is more human than most people I know.

Life has had many ups and downs in the last 20 month and I sad to admit there have been a lot of downs, far more than I have admitted to anyone, but I am getting there slowly. I have stopped my anti depressants as the side affects where horrible and I think my body and mind had just had enough of them and I feel more like me again. I can laugh and smile again and it's not an act. I can cry and it feel good. I feel like patting myself on the back and saying "welcome back Zoe I have missed you so much"

Why, you may ask, am I down/depressed?

I am still hurting from the loss of my mom. We are now 4 years down the line and I am only just letting myself accept what has happened and how I feel about it. I am taking baby steps to understand and deal with it. I will get there, even though I am not sure where there is.

Wrecking balls birth is another thing that haunts me. He was born so fast that he didn't breath straight away and we had a 2 minuet nightmare where we didn't know if he would survive. I know two minuet does not seem like a long time, but I can assure you it feels like forever. He was OK and took a big breath and cried and we new our baby was OK but I blame myself for him not breathing. I honestly don't know why. But I do. If I think about it logically, i know it's not my fault, but in the middle of the night when I can't sleep it all come flooding back. This is something I have to get my head round as I want to remember his birth as a beautiful and magical thing.

Well that is a very quick over view of me and my life. There are hundreds more things I could say, but I am getting very sleepy now. Its 5.53am and I have been awake since 1am with restless legs and a mind that wont stop chattering. So good night sweet dreams to you all.

Quick round up of last few days.

Friday Evening -  Mini me falls over her own feet and banged her head on the corner of a wooden table,  as soon as she had done it a massive egg came up on her forehead and a bruise to match, Hubby ran to pick her up and I ran to the freezer for something cold to put on her head. had a choice between bag of peas or a Hollands cheese and onion pie. I chose the peas. LOL  phoned 999 straight away and rushed her to hospital as the eggs was getting bigger and bigger, had to wait for 2 and half hours for her to be seen and told that she was fine and to keep a close eye on her for 24 hours. She was so brave, it didn't seem to bother her one bit, she just took it all in her stride.  


Saturday - My 31st birthday,  I was hoping for a nice chilled out day with no stress or upset. Shame I didn't get it. had a bad nights sleep as I was worrying about Mini me all night. she was fine as I new she would be. but I'm her Mommy its my job to worry. Got up and went down stairs to check on our wonderful dog Archie (Staffy) to find a very poorly and unhappy doggy. his tummy was so painful and upset that he was actually showing his pain and if you know anything about staffs they just don't do that. "hard as bullets" as I always say.  He would not drink and or eat anything and kept falling over. so Hubby phoned the vets and was told to get him there as fast as we could. We took him in and they said that they would have to keep him in and do some blood work and other tests. I must admit at this point I said a little prayer to ask for help and healing and my prayers were answered. he had to stay in for the day but all his bloods work came back fine and the pain killers and antibiotics seem to be doing there job. What was up with him I here you ask? we think but cant be sure that is was another of Archie allergies. I have a staffs that is allergic to life as the vet so kindly put it. 

The rest of my birthday was good. I had some wonderful cards and gifts. I felt very spoilt by my hubby and family. I got an Actifry which I have to say I love love love. I also got a kinnect, how lucky am I, we had loads of fun playing on the kinnect and I know we will get many more hours of fun and laughter out of it. 


Birthday evening - I went to a Psychic Supper, sounds interesting, doesn't it and it was. We had a delicious meal and yummy cake, I chose the Scones as they look amazing and didn't let me down on flavour and then we had a medium come and sit at our table and give us a reading, I am training to become a medium myself, so this was amazing for me to see one in action, the readings she gave out where brilliant and very emotional. I got my Mom thought which I have to say made my day. I am not going to go into what was said as that was for my ears only. So in the end my birthday was not all that bad. 


Spend the next day watching Mini me and Archie like a hawk just in case anything was to happen again but they are both doing really well.   


Monday - we decided to take Mini me to the Zoo so of we went to Chester zoo, its about an hours drive from were we live so not to far at all. we had the most wonderful day there. Mini me walked round the whole zoo on her owns and only asked to be picked up right at the end of the day when she was so sleepy and said her "tip tap shoes" where hurting her. there was so many animals to see and some that we had never heard of. My hubby took some amazing photos. it was just one of them perfect days and after the last couple we had we needed a day like this so much. 


Now lets see what the rest of the week will bring. 


"May angels watch over you always"

I’m back.

I know I have only made 3 posts and then disappeared but there has been a lot going on in my little world. Some I am happy to talk about and some that will just have to stay locked up in my little brain for a while longer.

My big news….I am now a Reiki Master. This has been the start to an amazing journey. I have been learning Reiki for just under a year, but from the moment I started it I knew I could do it, it just came naturally to me. It has been the thing that has kept me sane because when I am learning or practising Reiki I don’t feel the pain off loss as deeply.  It is the most amazing thing and a massive confidence boots for me. I am not an academic kind of a person and because of the Fibromyalgia I have a very bad short term memory, so I find it hard to learn something and then keep it in my head for any amount of time but I never felt like I needed to learn Reiki. I think I just needed someone to explain what I was already picking up. Please don’t think I am being a big head with all of this, I know I could not have got this far without my Reiki Master Dee, she has been amazing and I am proud to be her student.

I mention the Fibromyalgia before; man it has been giving me some grief of late. I don’t know weather I am doing too much or I am just having a bad spell but my goodness I have been in some evil pain. I hate waking up in the morning as I don’t know what bit of me will be hurting and it can take me anywhere from 10 minutes to half an hour to get out of bed, most the time ending in me being in tears as the pain is so bad. Then it is a case of “right Zoe pull yourself together, put a smile on your face and go and look after mini me” for anyone who does not know, that is my daughter she is 3 in May and a wonderful handful. That kid never stops. LOL I have good days and bad looking after her, some days I can play and run about with her like a normal mom and no one would know any different, then other I have to be a lot more careful with my energy and try not to let her climb all over me as it hurt so much. Life with Fibromyalgia can be very hard but I just have to make the best of the goods days and try not to dwell on the bad.

Talking of good days, we have been spending them baking, It is a massive passion of mine and I am so please that mini me loves it to. She is just so dam cute sat on the work top with her apron on, she really gets into it. Maybe one day she will bake me a cake all on her own. I have loads of cookery books to get ideas from but at the moment we are love making cupcakes, so simple but so much fun to make and decorate, she has also found a new love of licking the wooden spoon with all the cake mix on. I can remember doing this when I was a kid.

 Night Night all. xxx

“May Angels watch over you always”