Merry Christmas one and all.

Well hello again you wonderful people. 

May I start by wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. I hope that it has been full of love and laughter. I know that Christmas can be a very painful time for people and until last year i hated it, with a capital H, I don't know what changed me, maybe it was having two kids, maybe i just got to the point where hating it was more a habit rather than what i really felt, so i gave myself a talking to and gave my head a good wobble and started to see the fun in Christmas and started to let myself enjoy it and now i quite like this time of year. 

I should be able to do more blog posts this year as i must have been a very very good girl this year as Santa has given me a brand new Laptop. I do feel very blessed, my old laptop went to laptop heaven a while a go and i did use a tablet for a while but i cant type on them for love nor money, so getting this new laptop is a dream come true for me, Thank you Santa Aka Rob. 

Ok Question.....Mini me and wrecking ball still believe in Santa. I love the fact that it really does put the magic in to Christmas for them but i hate to lie to them, we have always been very honest with our two. don't get me wrong i am not going to tell them that the fat man is not real as that would just be mean, but i do try not to go on about it all the time and i have tried so hard not to say "if you are a naughty girl/boy Santa wont bring you and presents" so my question to you all is this. When is the right time for a child to stop believing in Santa and how do i respond to my two when they say we lied to them and they know that you should always tell the truth, 

Love and Light. 

May Angels Watch Over You Always. 

I'm back.....again

Hello my lovelies,

Well where do I starts......I am blessed to say I am now a mom of two. Mini me is now 5 years old, yes I did say 5. Where has that time gone. She is a beautiful, intelligent, funny and bossy little Madden and my wrecking ball (that is one of his many nicknames) is 20 months old. He is such a happy little boy. His smile can and does brighten up the hardest day. I now feel totally complete. I have two beautiful children, a hubby who I love so much and a dog who is more human than most people I know.

Life has had many ups and downs in the last 20 month and I sad to admit there have been a lot of downs, far more than I have admitted to anyone, but I am getting there slowly. I have stopped my anti depressants as the side affects where horrible and I think my body and mind had just had enough of them and I feel more like me again. I can laugh and smile again and it's not an act. I can cry and it feel good. I feel like patting myself on the back and saying "welcome back Zoe I have missed you so much"

Why, you may ask, am I down/depressed?

I am still hurting from the loss of my mom. We are now 4 years down the line and I am only just letting myself accept what has happened and how I feel about it. I am taking baby steps to understand and deal with it. I will get there, even though I am not sure where there is.

Wrecking balls birth is another thing that haunts me. He was born so fast that he didn't breath straight away and we had a 2 minuet nightmare where we didn't know if he would survive. I know two minuet does not seem like a long time, but I can assure you it feels like forever. He was OK and took a big breath and cried and we new our baby was OK but I blame myself for him not breathing. I honestly don't know why. But I do. If I think about it logically, i know it's not my fault, but in the middle of the night when I can't sleep it all come flooding back. This is something I have to get my head round as I want to remember his birth as a beautiful and magical thing.

Well that is a very quick over view of me and my life. There are hundreds more things I could say, but I am getting very sleepy now. Its 5.53am and I have been awake since 1am with restless legs and a mind that wont stop chattering. So good night sweet dreams to you all.

Quick round up of last few days.

Friday Evening -  Mini me falls over her own feet and banged her head on the corner of a wooden table,  as soon as she had done it a massive egg came up on her forehead and a bruise to match, Hubby ran to pick her up and I ran to the freezer for something cold to put on her head. had a choice between bag of peas or a Hollands cheese and onion pie. I chose the peas. LOL  phoned 999 straight away and rushed her to hospital as the eggs was getting bigger and bigger, had to wait for 2 and half hours for her to be seen and told that she was fine and to keep a close eye on her for 24 hours. She was so brave, it didn't seem to bother her one bit, she just took it all in her stride.  


Saturday - My 31st birthday,  I was hoping for a nice chilled out day with no stress or upset. Shame I didn't get it. had a bad nights sleep as I was worrying about Mini me all night. she was fine as I new she would be. but I'm her Mommy its my job to worry. Got up and went down stairs to check on our wonderful dog Archie (Staffy) to find a very poorly and unhappy doggy. his tummy was so painful and upset that he was actually showing his pain and if you know anything about staffs they just don't do that. "hard as bullets" as I always say.  He would not drink and or eat anything and kept falling over. so Hubby phoned the vets and was told to get him there as fast as we could. We took him in and they said that they would have to keep him in and do some blood work and other tests. I must admit at this point I said a little prayer to ask for help and healing and my prayers were answered. he had to stay in for the day but all his bloods work came back fine and the pain killers and antibiotics seem to be doing there job. What was up with him I here you ask? we think but cant be sure that is was another of Archie allergies. I have a staffs that is allergic to life as the vet so kindly put it. 

The rest of my birthday was good. I had some wonderful cards and gifts. I felt very spoilt by my hubby and family. I got an Actifry which I have to say I love love love. I also got a kinnect, how lucky am I, we had loads of fun playing on the kinnect and I know we will get many more hours of fun and laughter out of it. 


Birthday evening - I went to a Psychic Supper, sounds interesting, doesn't it and it was. We had a delicious meal and yummy cake, I chose the Scones as they look amazing and didn't let me down on flavour and then we had a medium come and sit at our table and give us a reading, I am training to become a medium myself, so this was amazing for me to see one in action, the readings she gave out where brilliant and very emotional. I got my Mom thought which I have to say made my day. I am not going to go into what was said as that was for my ears only. So in the end my birthday was not all that bad. 


Spend the next day watching Mini me and Archie like a hawk just in case anything was to happen again but they are both doing really well.   


Monday - we decided to take Mini me to the Zoo so of we went to Chester zoo, its about an hours drive from were we live so not to far at all. we had the most wonderful day there. Mini me walked round the whole zoo on her owns and only asked to be picked up right at the end of the day when she was so sleepy and said her "tip tap shoes" where hurting her. there was so many animals to see and some that we had never heard of. My hubby took some amazing photos. it was just one of them perfect days and after the last couple we had we needed a day like this so much. 


Now lets see what the rest of the week will bring. 


"May angels watch over you always"

I’m back.

I know I have only made 3 posts and then disappeared but there has been a lot going on in my little world. Some I am happy to talk about and some that will just have to stay locked up in my little brain for a while longer.

My big news….I am now a Reiki Master. This has been the start to an amazing journey. I have been learning Reiki for just under a year, but from the moment I started it I knew I could do it, it just came naturally to me. It has been the thing that has kept me sane because when I am learning or practising Reiki I don’t feel the pain off loss as deeply.  It is the most amazing thing and a massive confidence boots for me. I am not an academic kind of a person and because of the Fibromyalgia I have a very bad short term memory, so I find it hard to learn something and then keep it in my head for any amount of time but I never felt like I needed to learn Reiki. I think I just needed someone to explain what I was already picking up. Please don’t think I am being a big head with all of this, I know I could not have got this far without my Reiki Master Dee, she has been amazing and I am proud to be her student.

I mention the Fibromyalgia before; man it has been giving me some grief of late. I don’t know weather I am doing too much or I am just having a bad spell but my goodness I have been in some evil pain. I hate waking up in the morning as I don’t know what bit of me will be hurting and it can take me anywhere from 10 minutes to half an hour to get out of bed, most the time ending in me being in tears as the pain is so bad. Then it is a case of “right Zoe pull yourself together, put a smile on your face and go and look after mini me” for anyone who does not know, that is my daughter she is 3 in May and a wonderful handful. That kid never stops. LOL I have good days and bad looking after her, some days I can play and run about with her like a normal mom and no one would know any different, then other I have to be a lot more careful with my energy and try not to let her climb all over me as it hurt so much. Life with Fibromyalgia can be very hard but I just have to make the best of the goods days and try not to dwell on the bad.

Talking of good days, we have been spending them baking, It is a massive passion of mine and I am so please that mini me loves it to. She is just so dam cute sat on the work top with her apron on, she really gets into it. Maybe one day she will bake me a cake all on her own. I have loads of cookery books to get ideas from but at the moment we are love making cupcakes, so simple but so much fun to make and decorate, she has also found a new love of licking the wooden spoon with all the cake mix on. I can remember doing this when I was a kid.

 Night Night all. xxx

“May Angels watch over you always” 

Time for change,

I would just like to start by wishing you all a very Happy New Year. 2012 is going to be a bloody good year, I have decided. LOL  

I have started this year with a very positive attitude and intend to keep it through the year, I have given my head a wobble and have made a few changes about the things that matter to me, like the people who are important to me will stay in my life and I will cherish them and make the most of every second I get with them and the people who are not important to me won’t even get a second thought, as I have spent far too long caring for people who no longer matter to me.

I have started to do Slimming World again as I have been a little indulgent over Christmas and now I need to get back on track. For anyone who is thinking of starting a diet I would highly recommend Slimming World. I lost 3 and a half stone on it and I have to say that its really easy to do and I never once felt hungry, that is an amazing thing for me as I am normally always hungry and I love love love nice food. I am the type of person who lives to eat, I have had such fun doing the diet and most of the meals are yummy. I would defiantly recommend theLancashire Hot pot and the SW chips are delicious. I have even got my dad eating them. LOL  My only bit of advice and I may get my legs slapped for saying this, but oh well here goes, If you fancy a slice of Pizza have a slice of Pizza don’t try and make an alternative, like a mash potato pizza, as it just does not get rid of the NEED for Pizza. I don’t know if other people are like me but when I get something in my head I just have to have it and nothing else will do. 

I also need to start to do more exercise but because I have Fibromyalgia (there will be a post about this very soon to explain what it is and what it does to me)  I have to take it mega slow and try and build up very gradually, the example my specialist gave me was if I can manage to take the dog out for a walk, I have to start by doing 30 seconds of brisk walking and then cut it back down to a slow plod and build it up from there, 30 second to 3 minutes of brisk walking could take months to achieve. This is going to be a very slow process and I know it will do my head in but I know I will get there.

Well that is about it from me for now. 

"May angels watch over you always"

What’s in a name?

The reason I have called this blog “Beach Hut In The Sky” is for my wonderful Mom, who passed away from cancer at the end of August 2010. She loved a place down south called Southwold. This is a magical placed for us all. The sea front is lined with Beach huts.

** This Wonderful arty photo was taken by my husband the last time we were down there with my Mom** 

Southwold is full of unusual things and wonderful people. It just feels like home when I go there, even thought I have only ever been there on holiday. Mom always used to say that nothing bad would ever happen when we were in Southwold.  

Mom had always said when she dies she does not want a funeral but she wants to be cremated and taken to Southwold and scattered on the beach at Gun Hill in fount of the tea shop, So that is what we did, it was such a painful day for all the family but we could all feel that she was watching over us and having a good laugh at the things we got up to.

So I give this blog to you Mom and hope that where ever you are you can read this and share with me my beach hut in the sky.

Setting up is hard to do. LOL

I have just entered the wild and scary world of blog land and I have to say I am little confused and maybe even a little daunted by it all,  this is my first ever blog and it may take me a while to get my head around it all. I know from reading other blogs that I am not the only one to feel like this when starting out, so be patient with me and I will get there and fingers crossed this will be something that everyone can enjoy.